Love in the Air

February Recap

Or is it Agape?

What kind of February would it be if it wasn’t about love? First loves, puppy love, the loss of love, the gain of love. It is all something a part of the human experience. Something, I am sure, we have all experienced at some point in our lives. How often have you sat at a restaurant and seen the young man taking a girl out for the first time? You know it’s the first time because of the dizzying spell they both have. The awkward movements they make, seemingly stepping over each other in order to pull the chair out or get the coat. The bursts of laughter-filled discussion give way to awkward silence as the discussion moves from common niceties to topics just under the surface. I know you have witnessed it, and if you haven’t, you will. You probably have been a part of those moments. I know I have. Eventually, those moments fade, and they mature. It goes from awkward stepping on each other, to the nauseating puppy love, where they can’t keep their hands off each other. Sometimes, expressing a complete lack of self-control. It all eventually matures, however. You end up knowing how the person butters their roll, so you maneuver differently without so much as a peep or a glance at one another. Conversation becomes more about utility than it does about feelings. You can almost have a conversation with the person you love without making a noise. This maturity is inevitable. Yet sometimes we look back and wonder what happened. As a young couple, we were so giddy and excited; it was fresh and new, and you are reminded of what it used to be when you see that young couple in line at the movies. It’s fun. It’s also fun to be that mature couple when you meet the young couple. You have more experience, and they have fresh ideas.

Photo by Mateus Campos Felipe on Unsplash

There are, of course, more kinds of love that are expressed throughout life. The love of books (bibliophile), or the written word (logophile). Of which I possess these kinds of love. The love for our children and family (storge) and the love of friends (philia). The Bible uses storge, philia, eros (romantic love, and agape (sacrificial) to describe the various kinds of love we may experience in our lifetime.
Over the past month, I have witnessed many of these kinds of love. Obviously, my wife and I have expressed romantic, or eros. However, we have also been able to express sacrificial love for one another. Unfortunately, we went to a funeral of a police officer, to support my friends who were hurting, we witnessed the philia expression of love for their friend in blue. What is unique about my military background and all of my friends who are veterans and still serving while wearing a badge, we all express and carry this kind of love for one another. When a brother in uniform is hurting because he lost another brother in a different uniform, we all feel that pain.

This is my commandment: love one another as I love you.

No one has greater love than this,j to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.

You are my friends if you do what I command you.

Jesus taught us the greatest kind of Love we could express ever. It isn’t a coincidence that we celebrate the Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ during this time. Even as we celebrate St. Valentine’s Day in the spirit of Eros, or Romantic love, we are also celebrating the Sacrificial love of Christ. For he laid down his life for you and me. Now, that is an Amazing love to emulate with one another. I think if we did that more often, we would have a lot fewer problems with one another. We might stop to think about how what we are saying, thinking, and doing to one another is hurting that sacrificial love we should express to each other.

What I Learned

This month was too short for me to take on many learning projects. Though I am still enrolled in the New Saint Thomas Institute, run by Dr. Taylor Marshall, my endeavors have taken me elsewhere.

Something I did learn, and along with the theme of love, is the concept of romance. I think it is common knowledge that a Romance language is one influenced by the Roman world. You have languages like Italian, Romanian, Spanish, Portuguese, and, of course, French.

I didn’t know that Romance stories originally featured Roman influence. Which is why you have stories of knights and dames, and the idea of knightly courtship, in many romance-style novels. It wasn’t until the 18th Century that Romance stories became known for their focus on love.

In March, I will focus on learning more about Our Blessed Mother. I will be taking the courses offered on NSTI, and when I finish the course material, I will share the certificate here.

What I Read

Books

Ministry of Time

I am not for romance novels. I think the last one I read, I literally threw across my office in Fort Benning, Georgia. Mainly because the character broke a Soldier’s heart while he was deployed. Permitting the title of the well-known moniker for letters used to break up with military members, “Dear John”. That was a horrible book, I hated it, but I read it because my girlfriend at the time told me to. I think it was her way of writing the letter herself.

Regardless, romance novels are not my forte, and when I bought “The Ministry of Time”, I didn’t realize it could be classified as a romance. I liked the concept of time travel, its use in modern times, and the idea of immigration. Some hot-button modern conversations are happening in today’s political climate. The author, Kaliane Bradley, nails the genre blending. I quite enjoy her vocabulary throughout the story. Normally, I don’t like to be jarred out of a story to research a word and its uses. However, I found Bradley’s British-language acrobatics compelling and worth the mind-bending effort to understand them.
“The pigeons took off, their wings making a noise like a swallowed laughter.”
That phrase stuck with me through the whole book. The way she describes things with her analogies. I had never thought of the sound of pigeons until the day I read that phrase. Now, I can’t forget the sound of swallowed laughter as associated with wings fluttering away.

Though I enjoy Bradley’s linguistic style. I am not a fan of the storyline itself. I find myself dragging through the book. I unfortunately must say this is going to be my first DNF of the year.

I don’t usually like to give up on books. Even if they take forever for me to get through. I need to be easier on myself about these scenarios. I want to give the author a shot, and really, it didn’t connect with me, and that is ok.

The Lord of the Rings and Catholicism

My wife just returned home from her cousin’s bachelorette party. It turns out her cousin is an avid Lord of the Rings fan, and the inner hobbit starts speaking out to me every time Lord of the Rings comes up. To help my wife navigate conversations with her cousin, I made Katie watch The Lord of the Rings with me. I then started mansplaining how there are so many different Catholic references to the storyline. Considering Tolkien’s great love for his faith and its integration into his daily life, it felt necessary to discuss with Katie.

This started me down a whole other level of reading, as I began this book to build my knowledge of something I already knew and appreciated.

Articles

Brief thoughts on why Jesus didn't lead with "God loves you."

This article nails God’s love and why we resist it.

Short Stories

I started reading a serial by another great sub stacker. She hasn’t released them to the public as of the time this will be published. However, let me say, when they are published, you are in for a treat. I will definitely share them here with every iteration. Or even better, you can subscribe to The Tearoom by Mariella Hunt, and get the releases published firsthand.

What I watched

TV Shows

There is something about the Kennedy family that makes them feel relatable to the everyday American. Despite being one of the most influential and wealthy families in the country, it appeared like royalty. My Grandma will tell you where she was the day JFK was assassinated. She remembers watching it on her TV. She can tell you about the poise Jackie held herself as “America’s Widow”. It is a sort of elegance that permeates the Kennedy household. It’s one that was shown in “Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette”.

This show reminded me of how I first met my wife. To be honest, I could never forget the day I met my wife and how we fell in love. I was a broken soul who just returned home from Active Duty. I was going to school to be a police officer, but somehow found myself in the honors program. I wasn’t an honors student in High School. In fact, I barely made it out of High School. I only did what I had to in order to graduate and leave for the Army. Yet 8 years later, I was sitting in an honors class, and this beautiful, quiet, and seemingly respectable lady sat a few desks ahead of me. The complete opposite of the self-aware, overly confident clown, I was. I was hoping to be partnered with her for the introduction exercise. I am not quite sure how it happened, but we were. We learned a lot of surface-level things about each other that day. It was priming a great friendship–eventually budding into a love and relationship that will lead me home to the love of God.

Movies

Of course, as I mentioned earlier, I made my wife watch The Lord of the Rings with me. She hasn’t made it through entirely yet, but it will be waiting for her when she is ready.

I also took my kids to see GOAT at the movies. What a cute movie about sportsmanship, being a good team mate, and sharing the love of the game. Steph Curry helped produce it, and you can tell he has a great passion for his game.

Bible Scripture / Catechism from the Month

CCC 2282 Grave Psychological disturbances, anguish, or grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture can diminish the responsibility of the one committing suicide

I have lost quite a few friends to suicide. It hurts every time someone else commits suicide. It pains me when I know that the demons they were facing were able to push them to the limit of taking their own life.
This Catechism reference is something I take a look at often. It is a reminder for me that my friends may not be suffering in Hell just because they committed suicide. In fact, it reminds me that I need to pray for their souls. Continue praying for their souls. CCC 2283 continues on to say that we should not despair of the eternal salvation of someone who has taken their own life. Because their salvation could still be provided an opportunity through God and his eternal agape love for man.

Articles / Quotes that stood out

I mentioned this in my ‘What I Learned’ section. But this Quote is where I originally learned it, and I had to start digging deeper into it.

This one hit like a ton of bricks. Many of the problems we face are due to the actions we take. The idea of building our own crosses means that we suffer because we refuse to give up control of everything. We need to stop and just let God deal with it. Jesus already died on a Cross for us. Let’s stop making another one for ourselves.

“You can’t control the wind, but you can adjust your sails.”

I don’t know why this quote hit me this month. It hit me with a realization that life is all about perspective. We can allow the wind to control us and blow us around, or we can adjust the sails. We don’t have control over everything in this life, but we can just look at things differently.

Miscellaneous

This month, I launched paid subscription tiers. I am learning how to work with it and build this platform into something that will pay for itself. I hope and pray that you find my writing worth reading and that you decide to financially support my endeavors. However, I am not restricting everything as of right now. I want to ensure everyone has a chance to read what I post in a reasonable amount of time.

Therefore, I started putting paywalls up on articles older than 6 weeks. I think this gives everyone ample time to read, share, and comment. There are other perks to becoming a paid subscriber, of course. If you would like to take advantage of those benefits, or just support my work, please consider a paid subscription.

Previous articles and stories

The Courier