It’s been a while since I have been able to write a monthly compline due to my Summer absence. Yet, every time I approach these complines, I wonder if the structure is working for what we are working toward. Initially this piece was a sort of journaling section to tell you what is going on through my daily life, what I am reading, who I am talking to, what is new in the world of Aaron Gardner and his daily communications and prayer life. Or rather, the inexistent prayer life that is happening. Realistically, this was a way for me to say my prayers at night while I reflect over the past month--in hopes that you may find something useful. If you find what I am reading worthy, or if you find my nightly ramblings soothing. As I haven’t completed one since May, I often ask myself if the monthly compline is worth the time for my, what, 60 free subscribers? Surely, what I write has some bit of usefulness to others, right?
Or, maybe it’s just ramblings like the crazy man yelling gibberish at the sky. A lot of Substack feels like that in the end. It feels like you are talking to the world, and only a few people actually care to stand around you, while even a few select people actually care to listen. That’s the 30 people who actually open each article I write. 60 people subscribe and about 50% of them actually take a look at the article. Whether they read it or not, that is another question, isn’t it? The truth is, they could just open the newsletter in the inbox, not actually read any of it and close their inbox. I wonder if Substack has a way to determine if that is the case or not.
I digress... Substack has a funny way of making us feel like our writing matters, when in reality it doesn’t even scratch the surface of what people really care to read about. I think that most people want to read nothing more than 1500 words. If it starts to go over that, then you lose the attention span of the current population. Most have the attention span of an Instagram reel. Yes, even those people who claim to be above the societal norms with their pocket notebooks, reading physical books, and only listening to classical music while cooking an exquisite meal.
Can we just be real here for a moment? Even if you appreciate the long form essay, if the essay isn’t about something you already have a deep desire to read about, you will move on quickly to another piece. More than likely a shorter piece because your attention was already taken by another well written piece by your favorite philosophical long form essayist. That’s ok. It’s also ok to admit that sometimes, Instagram takes over your scrolling. This is proven through how successful substack notes is compared to actual long form written articles. It’s ok to admit you are bored of this platform. You’re not alone. Substack serves a purpose to tease your brain with a thought that you are somehow different than everyone else who doomscrolls through X and watch short reels of comedic genius--sharing with their friends and people they rarely see in person anymore.
That being said, I am not sure I want to continue doing monthly complines for the audience anymore. What I want to do instead is focus on one topic every month. Read, watch, listen and digest as much as I can about that topic, and write a long-form essay about it. Whether it is philosophical like Ascetics, contemplative living, a church that has captured my attention, the history of the Norman conquest, or why Western civilization as we know it is doomed. Ok all of those topics are fairly well covered--but you get the idea. So, this is going to be my last intentional rant and contemplation over the past month. You will still learn about me and what I have read, or am reading through out the month. It just won’t be in such a structured state. It will be spread out through the rest of the month’s articles. If you use this time to say your prayers while you contemplate your own life and read about mine. I am sorry, I do hope you find time to pray with me in other ways. Perhaps through the chat (another tool on Substack that doesn’t seem to quite get going for me, probably my own fault there too).
What I’m Reading
Let me first caveat this. It has been a busy past couple of months through Summer and on into the end of September. Despite being busy, I did move a few things from my TBR to my Read pile. Even if some of those books were “read” or listened to via audiobook. Don’t judge. We already established it’s ok to admit that we aren’t as all high and mighty as we may claim to be just because we are on Substack and not Instagram or X. Here is a list of those books, I will note the ones I listened to with an asterisk, because even though I am not claiming moral high ground-- I am also not a monster and like to differentiate between the two.
The Law Student by John Grisham
* Listened to
This wasn’t really worth listening to, to be honest. I much rather have read it. I have always been a fan of John Grisham. I have read his books since I was a preteen and have fallen away from reading his work since becoming an adult. However, I know that his latest book was getting ready to come out, or it has since the time of me writing this. This story is a short story that builds into his new novel, The French Illusion. I am excited about The French Illusion, so much so, when I was driving down to Tennessee from Michigan this month, I ensured I listened to the prequel. The set up is great and in true Grisham fashion. It made me long for the days of my youth when I would stay up all night reading The Pelican Brief.
There is something so special about the way he writes lawyers, judges, into his legal thrillers all surrounding a small southern town, most likely somewhere in Louisiana. It’s methodical and predictable. So, predictable that it almost catches you off guard, ruining the predicability and throws you off.
That being said, I wish I would have actually read the story because listening to it doesn’t do it justice. I want to go back and reread parts, I want to linger over certain word choices, but can’t because I listened to it while driving through the dark somewhere in Southern Kentucky and a part of Tennessee. I won’t make the same mistake with The French Illusion, when I get a chance to read it.
How to Disappear and Live Off the Grid: A CIA Insider’s Guide by: John Kiriakou
* Listened to.
Kiriakou is a former CIA agent and is giving you tips about ways to stay off the grid and disappear.
Spoiler alert: it means giving up all the amenities you live so dependently on today--especially your close friends and family.
I mainly wanted to read this one because I am looking at different ways to incorporate ideas into my writing. Characters I am writing in my upcoming novel. Hint, I may have a character that needs to get off the grid, not be contacted, and still be able to survive in a modern world of surveillance.
This was great book to listen to as I am researching and plotting my novel. If you are a writer in any sort, you should always find things to read or listen to that help you write. Especially books, shows, articles, or just eavesdropping conversations in public. Reading books like this, even though it isn’t specifically about the craft of writing, is good for character development, plot setting and will set your story up to be 3D and realistic. Tom Clancy once listened into so many stories from Sailors in a bar, read news articles and read different books that the book, Hunt For Red October was initially deemed classified. Not because what he was writing was actually classified, but because the information he collected when researching put together became classified. Now, that’s the kind of story I want to write. One the Government says... “No, Mr. Gardner, we are going to pay out your contract and take all these books off the shelf for National Security. Thank you for your service.” That’s publicity you can’t pay for, and who knows maybe made into a great blockbuster hit afterwards.
The Safe Cracker by: Jesse DeRoy
Another thriller, espionage type book. What can I say, I am a man of habit. I love what I love. This book was a great read, I especially enjoy how DeRoy writes his character’s past. With snippets of flashbacks, opinions and thoughts that make no sense until it is fleshed out in later parts of the story. This main character, is one to follow. I would say Duke Ducain is the next Robert Langdon, but that really doesn’t do Duke justice. He’s the man who can walk through walls. Robert Langdon should stay in the classroom and teach the FBI how to catch Duke, because Duke Ducain, truly is unmatched. Even Duke’s bedridden sister has more swagger than Dan Brown’s lead character. Jesse DeRoy is a great author and I am glad I was able to catch this on the come up, before Hollywood makes it into a best selling movie starring Shia Lebeouf as Duke, and Anya Taylor-Joy as his love interest.
Can’t wait to start the sequel.
If you enjoy reading, these books piqued your interest, or you just want to follow what I am reading more closely, please be sure to follow me on Fable.
Past Articles
I normally leave the rest of the compline to showcase a few of the pieces I have written this past month or even a couple that are headlining in the past. However, I am not going to do that tonight. Quite frankly, my Sangria is gone and I don’t really want to draw attention to articles that are going to require all the current free subscribers to articles that require a paid subscription. I appreciate those who are subscribed and I want to keep you here. Please do consider a paid subscription, not because it gets you access to past articles, but because you are helping support this newsletter.
Ending Prayer
Thank you God for a great month. You have shown yourself to me in various forms of mercy and light. I pray you watch over my family, my friends and the transitions we are going through.
Lord grant us a quiet night and a perfect end.
Amen.