Have you ever wondered what it would look like if Moses had walked away from the burning bush? Of course not. The All-Sovereign God knows all and knew Moses was the leader He wanted to lead His people out of the hands of Egyptian rule, before Moses was born. Although the scenario is implausible, I often wonder if I did walk away from my “burning bush”. Of course, God knew I would, but I didn’t.
Here’s what I mean. I walked away from my Catholic faith as a teenager. It wasn’t completely in my control, but I still did it. I walked away from my faith completely as a young soldier in Iraq. Screaming at Him, facing the sky, lost in the world without a compass. Then, after a couple of years of my faith sitting in a block of ice, I was stationed just a 4-hour train ride from the roots of my faith... Rome, Italy.
What if I were walking by the burning bush? God was calling me, right then, right there, to revert back to being the Catholic I was supposed to be. I can still feel the rain dripping on me as our unit ran to the Church on the top of Mount Berico. I felt a distant, familiar feeling while wandering through the Vatican, and I can still taste the coffee from the cafe down the path from St. Mark’s in Venice. I even attended mass in Italian. I was in great awe over the magnificent architecture, the paintings, the icons, and the statues. I promised my cousin I would get a rosary for her newborn while I was in the Vatican. From my conversation with her recently, he still has it, and he is now attending a Catholic High School. While getting him a rosary, I got one for myself, and it now sits on a shelf next to the picture of my grandpa and me outside the church I was baptized in. In my kitchen rests an icon of the Blessed Virgin I bought while drifting through the streets of Rome.
My platoon sergeant was very connected to his faith. I even attended church with him, albeit it being Latter-day Saints. I was asking all the questions and was surely millimeters away from returning to the Church I was baptized in--where I came to know Jesus in the Eucharist. While serving, I spent countless days speaking with my chaplains about various ideas and questions I had about faith. Imagine if one of those Army chaplains had been Catholic. They would already know my roots and be able to send me on the path necessary for me to return home. Not saying the chaplains I had were inept or incapable of doing such a thing. However, due to their primary function as the unit chaplain, they would only dive into the secular side of conversations and be there for deeper theological discussions around their own held beliefs.
Today, our chaplaincy faces a huge dilemma. Not only are we on a downward slope for those called to the priesthood-- the Catholic Church isn’t represented nearly as much as it should be in the military. A quarter of the United States military identifies as Roman Catholic. Whether they are practicing the faith or not is a moot point, because 8% of the chaplaincy is Catholic. That means there are about 350,000 service members to about 200 Catholic Chaplains. Even if those who identify as Roman Catholic wanted to practice their faith, they may not be able to. They lack having a priest to receive the sacraments. If they don’t have a Catholic Church off base, they likely will not receive the Eucharist regularly, nor go to confession, for that matter.
The Church understands this and has made it more forgiving in receiving the sacrament of Confession. Once per year in order to be considered valid within the Church. But what about those Soldiers fighting overseas in our nation’s wars? Shouldn’t they have more access to the sacraments than just the Soldier who is home at Fort Benning? They are unable to have their sins absolved, receive the Eucharist, or receive the anointing of the sick before they die of combat injuries.
I understand this isn’t just a dilemma in our military. The military is a microcosm of our greater society. I just wonder how different my life could have been if I had come across a Catholic chaplain who helped call me back home. What about those Catholics in the military who have stepped away for similar reasons? How many of them would come home?
If you're searching for your faith, standing next to your own burning bush, or something in this essay stirred you, consider subscribing. I publish reflections every other week on faith, calling, my return to the Church, and the work of raising a family within it. This article supports awareness of the needs of the United States Military Archdiocese and the importance of ensuring access to the sacraments for those who serve. Join me on the journey.
Have you brought this up with someone like your bishop? It is a very dire problem to solve.